Flight 742
by TheLampPostStation
Summary: Booth, Bones and Zach are returing from a confrence in Pheonix when they meet Carl, Bren's biggest fan, and he shows them to the body, chaos ensues. My Awesome take on the common airplane plot. T for graphic crime scene/autopsy descriptions.
1. C1: Who the heck is Carl?

Flight 742 by Locked-up Lycan

Chapter one: Who the heck is Carl?

Disclaimer:: I don't own Bones, but it would be a WICKED AWESOME birthday present.

Who the heck is Carl::

Booth's Point of View::

"This is Flight 742 on board from Phoenix to Washington D.C., stopping briefly in Chicago. Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits…" The stewardess's voice floated down the cabin. I turned to Dr. Brennan's (since when do I call her that?) assistant, Zach Addy.

" I believe they would have a greater chance at captivating their audience during the "safety speech" if they added a more visual or auditory element to it." I laughed nervously before answering his thought.

"Sometimes I could just punch them right between the eyes for being to… dull."

"Dullness refers to the reflective properties of the object in question's surface. And, if you punched them between the eyes, you would, with your strength, cause more damage to your radius and distal phalanges then her flesh." _Agh, I hate it when they go technical…_ I slipped my sunglasses on, instantly darkening the cabin. Lying down, I planned to enjoy the next 6 ½ hours.

"Agent Booth…Agent Booth…" Something nudged my shoulder. "Agent booth, the stewardess, Breena, is here. Would you like something to drink? She has a pleasing array of sodas and juices, not to mention alcoholic beverages and energy drinks. I myself chose-"

"Arggh! Shut up Zach!" I moved out of my aisle seat and down the plane to first class.

"Bones, Bones, Bones! Control your intern! He went all…_squinty_ on me!"

"Squinty?" She pulled her eye mask away from her face.

"You know, like 'Phalanges' and, you know…"

"No, I don't know."

"Argh! I'm moving up here!" I made to sit down.

"No, Booth! Remember last time, you almost got me in trouble!"

"Hmgh. Fine, Bon- _Dr. Brennan…_"

"DOCTOR BRENNAN!?!?!?!?!" A short-ish wiry man burst from coach into first class. "I am your HUGEST fan! *chough* I mean, I am familiar with your works." He said at the dirty looks from annoyed passengers.

"FBI," I flashed my badge, "Who are you?"

"Carl Dante. What are you guys doing in Phoenix?!"

"We're coming back from an archeology conference. Nice to meet you Mr. Dante, but-"

"Carl, Dr. Brennan." Carl squealed.

"I'd like some rest , if you don't mind-"

"OH! I just thought you'd like to know that there's a body in the restroom!"

"I'm sure that's true; that's where people go to-"

"No! I mean a CADAVER!!" Bones, Carl, and I flew down the cabin to the bathroom, calling for Zach as we went.

A/N: Reviewers will be credited in the next chapter!! (Not to mention one of my famous Virtual Potatoes!!)


	2. C2: A new meaning to fear of flying

Flight 742 by Locked-up Lycan

Chapter Two: A new meaning to fear of flying.

Disclaimer:: I don't own Bones, but it would be a WICKED AWESOME birthday present.

A new Meaning to Fear of Flying::

Carl's Point of View::

Dr. Brennan asked me how I found the Body!!!

"I-I went to use the bathroom." Agent Booth looked at me.

"When? Why didn't you tell somebody?"

"Approximately 20 minutes ago, and I did tell-the-passenger-next-to-me-but-she's-like-sixty-bazillion-years-old-and-I-locked-the-bathroom-door-behind-me-and-"

"Whoa!" Booth stopped me. "Slow down there, Carter!" I was confused.

"Uh, sir, it's Carl. I was saying, shouldn't we process the crime scene?" Brennan and Addy looked at me like I swore at Queen Elizabeth III's face.

"We?" Booth. "Ah, no for you, bub. FBI only."

"Anthropologically speaking, it's a common courtesy to take statements AT the scene."

"FINE, Bones!" Booth yell-whispered. Dr. Brennan has a nick name? WICKED!!!

Zach's Point of View::

Booth pulled Dr. Brennan and I to the side.

"This guy is a regular nut case, okay? I'll keep him busy; you guys just don't let him near the remains. Zach, d'ja think you can get a satellite uplink with the Jeffersonian?"

"I was working on that while you talked." I pressed a few keys and Angela's face appeared.

"Ah, God, Zach, you nearly scared me to death!!"

"It is impossible to die of fear. I apologize," I turned my lap top to face the remains.

"Oh… Not again…" She groaned and leaned her head back.

"Can you go fetch Sweets (wherever he may be)? Our only witness has practically no shock, and we need to figure out why," Booth said.

"'Kay, be right back."

Brennan's Point of View::

With Mr. Dante occupied, I could finally get to the remains. Booth handed me a few "Barf-Bags" (as he put it). I filled them as follows: The bloody ring of keys (Booth thinks it's the Murder weapon), the victim's left shoe (covered in what appeared to be a type of soft drink), and scrapings from under his nails. I asked Zach to ask Booth to get a full steward's cart in order to identify the drink on the victim's shoes.

The body still had almost all of the flesh, Except for his right fourth and fifth fingers. Both wounds were expertly tended to several days ago, but the stitches were pulled out. Booth returned to the lavatory, the laptop tucked under his arm. He opened it up. Hodgins appeared a moment later. Booth got straight to his point.

"Hodgins, what are the top three ways to identify a soft drink while en-route?"

A/N: This story is _sorta_ AU. I don't care if the little details are wrong. But, enjoy, and drop me a review!


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